It's true what they say, a breakup is like a death
Something you have to grieve
Although it wasn’t just you that I lost
It was a part of myself
I am okay with knowing that this part of me has become now part of you and vice versa
I know that so many people say I love you unconditionally when they are in the relationship
But when I said it I meant it
I can not recall a time where I ever said something to you I didn’t mean
I still feel our soul tie
And I know you do too
Because you said to me “I miss you so much sometimes I know you can feel it too” months ago
I know you attempt to drown it out with substances but it’s kind of tragic and beautiful isn’t it?
I will love you forever and I truly believe that our souls needed each other
I am so grateful for how deeply we loved each other
It fed the deepest part of my soul
How blessed are we to have experienced love, loss, and lessons?
I re-read your break up card the other day
I kept re-reading the lines that said how you felt like you hadn’t actually lived until you met me
Like the world was black and white and I showed you the rainbow
And that you think I saved you from taking your life
I’m glad I could be that for you
Even though I still question what was truth and what was a lie
I don’t regret anything
It was God’s will
I want you to know that I’ve been fasting for Ramadan
That was until I got sick
But I’m reading the Qu’ran daily
I know Ramadan is always difficult for you
Remember when I shipped your family dates for our first Ramadan together?
When we would count down the minutes until sunset?
And sleep in as long as we could?
I hope you’re going to mosque and taking care of yourself
I asked Cole to check in on you, I had a feeling you weren’t doing well
It's not my place anymore, but I still care about you
I know when you look at me now you just see your mistakes
I hope your heart becomes less cold, don’t let Allah seal it please
Amir, you are my greatest and deepest love
I wasn’t blinded by your charm or looks and what not
I licked up every taste of your authentic being you would show me
And I want you to know that I will continue to love you for what we had
Thank you for giving me yourself for the time that you did.
You were my best friend.
I wish you nothing but happiness and blessings.
I don’t regret trying to hold onto you for as long as I could. You are unlike any other.
But now I’m ready to let go.
I’ll still pray for you and think of you my inta.
But just so you know, I ruined my well-being for you
Even when I was intoxicated my mind was still on you
And you had the audacity to tell Jeff that my drunk calls bothered you? After all that I’ve done for you?
I love you still. But you don’t deserve my love.
Not anymore
I’m done being yours.
Sincerely,
Sydney
